Chapter 96: "Welcome to Rivervale"

Insert screaming under title here.

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CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of murder, cult belief, infertility, fertility issues, colic, sleep deprivation, ritual sacrifice, sex, insects, insect bites.

We’re back, but we’re not back to Riverdale this week. Nope, the Archie Creative Writing Class (which is failing, by the way) is here to create a (maybe?) shadow universe where everything is just fine and good until everyone joins a cult. Seriously, this episode is straight up weird, and if it weren’t for Cole Sprouse’s goofy grin every time he appears as Rod Serling we’d be off to a very bumpy start to Season 6. Then again, it’s really hard to know what’s going on because they’re doing a 5-part mini-arc that you just know they desperately wanted released during Halloween instead of the holidays. “Welcome to Rivervale” as we discuss the Season 6 premiere this week on The Doghouse.

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Interstitial music taken from "Make Up" from the compilation album Kamelot by Distortions. Licensed under an Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license. To hear the song or get more information about the artist, visit the song page at Jamendo.

Clip taken from “The Twilight Zone,” written and composed by Marty Manning and performed by Marty Manning and His Orchestra. Copyright 1961 Columbia Records, CBS.