SPORTS!: Bloodsport

KU-MI-TE. KU-MI-TE. KU-MI-TE. KU-MI-TE.

There’s no good explanation why Macintosh hasn’t seen Jean-Claude Van Damme’s action-star debut. He’s seen his fair share of martial-arts epics, fighting movies and dumb action roles. But other than Street Fighter, there’s a major lack of JCVD in his repertoire. Meanwhile, Maud has watched this at least a dozen times, and now it’s time for her to share this terribly-acted but nevertheless immensely watchable fighting movie. With no budget, 1988 looks and a super-unreliable narrator in the real Frank Dux, this movie is a hot mess in the absolute best way. And if that won’t convince you, just drink every time JCVD does the splits or yells. That’ll REALLY help you enjoy the movie…

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Intro music taken from the Second Movement of Ludwig von Beethoven's 9th Symphony. Licensed under an Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Hong Kong (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 HK) license. To hear the full performance or get more information, visit the song page at the Internet Archive.

Excerpts taken from Bloodsport, copyright Warner Home Video 1988, and Friends episode 13, season 2, “The One After the Super Bowl, Part 2,” copyright Warner Bros. Television 1998.

Excerpt taken from “Fight to Survive” written and performed by Stan Bush, from the Bloodsport Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Copyright Perseverance Records 2007.